Troubadour, June 2010
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A Father With No Conditions
by Kristin White
Two weeks ago my husband, Chris, came home from a five-day fishing trip. I had just gotten all four kids to bed when his truck lights lit up our front room. Our oldest, Jonah, and I met him at the front door. He didn’t bring back any fish, but instead a 39-inch long rattle snake he shot on the Deschutes River. As he stood under our door frame he smiled at us, dangling the headless snake as its nerves still twirled in circles. I shrunk back into the warmth of our hallway, watching from afar as they both examined it. It continued to move on our porch, and I found my voice again. A few minutes later dad and son were unpacking, and the snake was tied in two plastic bags locked in the shop behind our house. Because I said so.
As I fell asleep that night I told him, “I’m so glad you’re home.” (Which could be the understatement of the year.) After five days of activities for four little people, I was spent. And it wasn’t so much because I needed him, and don’t get me wrong I missed him horribly, it was how much they needed him. I was spent from answering, “Yes, Daddy will be home in a few days… I know you miss Daddy but he can’t hear his cell phone… I know I don’t play catch the way your dad does, but I’m trying here.” I couldn’t get a break. And really, I blame Chris. He is an amazing father.
What is funny is that when we were first married, I really didn’t think he’d be that stellar as a parent. Whenever we were around kids, I was the queen of fun and he seemed like a guy who thought kids could possibly be aliens. I foresaw a future of him many, many years down the road waving his cane at kids, yelling, “Get off my lawn!” So when I became pregnant with Jonah, I prayed very specifically that he would love being a father, and that he would love our children. When Jonah was born and there were complications for me, Chris held him as I had emergency surgery. As I waited to hold our baby I watched them, and I realized that I could wait to hold him. I watched my son transform Chris in those minutes. How changing unconditional love is!
This unconditional love has seeped into every part of our lives. It has masked itself in other forms, the way he tells the kids stories of when he was a kid. And even though none of the stories are true, I hear their laughter and the love exchanged. The quiet strength in his step as he carries our Grace. The protectiveness which he instills in the boys about their sister. He’s even gone so far as to take her to a convent, her “future” home. And the gentleness, as he’s dealt with the heartaches they have from hurt feelings, to cradling a feverish child, to even helping me wash my incision after my C-section with our youngest. In those moments I witnessed what my children see every day. That unabashed, unconditional love that leads our family in prayer, in growth, in the life we are building together.
Our faith and that love has become crucial to the survival of our family. It keeps me confident when he leaves to work as a police officer that he will return to us, safe and alive. It keeps me sane on days when I’ve dealt with every color of temper tantrum and I count the hours for the day to be over. It keeps us focused on the real goal, to be examples to our kids and to lead our family to heaven. It is a flawed walk, but we both have the same goal.
In the past six months my dad and my step-dad both dealt with large health issues. As I waited by the phone, anxious to hear test results and prognoses, I ached for the fathers who helped me with homework, calmed my tears, and escorted me down the aisle toward Chris. They grounded and yelled at me, told me corny jokes, taught me how to fight for myself and how to find my own voice. And even at 31 years old, all these years later… I needed them.
I’ve watched my husband transform, and I’ve had my own revelations about myself. I realized how often I held myself back from the love of God the Father because of my own flaws. How I let the twisting turning sins of my past dictate the relationship I had with Him. But He waited. I hid parts of myself deep in the back of my heart, like the dead snake in the shop, because I was afraid of my own unworthiness. But He waited, until I was ready. He missed me horribly. And like I am with my earthly fathers, I need our Heavenly Father so very much.
My marriage isn’t perfect. We are not perfect parents. But we have God as the center of everything, and I am transformed in that. And He loves us. Because He said so… unconditionally, of course.
Visit Kristin’s blog at www.joyfulmysteries.wordpress.com
Some Thoughts on Immigration
by Robert Fontana
When an alien resides with you in your land, do not molest him. You shall treat the alien who resides with you no differently than the natives born among you; have the same love for him as for yourself; for you too were once aliens in the land of Egypt.” Leviticus 19:32-34
I know two amazingly gifted teenagers who have been in the United States illegally since their parents brought them here as babies. One graduated with Colleen and the other is a sophomore in high school. Yes, they are from Mexico, but Mexico is a foreign country to them. They are as American in their thinking as is Colleen, and are already outstanding students and citizens.
Are these young people felons? Should I report them to Homeland Security? Should they be deported to Mexico for breaking U.S. law and “stealing” a public education meant for citizens only?
If these kids were living in Arizona today they might just go into hiding. But what does Catholic teaching have to say about them and immigrants in general? There are two fundamental principles of human rights and social responsibility which are in tension in the immigration debate.
- The earth and its goods belong to all! No one “owns” the earth and its resources, and no one has an absolute right to them over and against others. Fresh water is a right for all humans, not just for those who live next to the river. People have a basic human right to move from one place to another in order to do what is necessary to provide food, clothing, shelter, education, and health care for their families.
- Governments have a moral responsibility to protect the common good and manage the borders of their country.
Catholics searching out a solution to this complex issue must hang on to these two principles: people have the right to migrate; governments have the right to manage their country’s borders. When these two principles collide, as they do over the migration of thousands of people from Mexico to the United States, it is a lot easier to pick a side than to hold these principles in healthy tension—but that is exactly what must be done.
For me, at least, by holding onto these two fundamental truths, I do find some answers to the debate.
- Not all who cross the border and enter the U.S. illegally are felons and criminals, as the Arizona law makes them. It’s not the crossing of the border illegally that makes one a felon, but one’s intentions in crossing the border. If an illegal migrant intends to find a job, raise a family, and live as a responsible citizen in the United States, he or she is not a felon. Our legal system constantly makes distinctions about illegal behavior based on a person’s intentions. If I shoot you with the intent to kill you in a premeditated way, that’s first degree murder. However, if I accidentally discharge my gun and you are killed, though I did not intend it, I would be charged with involuntary manslaughter. And if I shoot you with the intention of defending myself because you are trying to harm me, I would be acting in self-defense and probably not charged at all.
- The Federal Government must become a better manager of the border and make illegal border crossing more difficult. I have no expertise or insights to offer here other than what the Catholic bishops have argued for: detainees must be treated with human dignity, and keeping families intact must override deportation practices.
- We must find a way to help the thousands of people who are living in the U.S. without the documentation to become citizens. If they are minors, perhaps they can enroll in programs of community service or the military as a path to citizenship once they are 18. If they are adults and can prove that they have been responsible citizens, perhaps they go through an extensive citizenship program that includes community service and the payment of a fine.
The earth and its goods belong to all. People suffering from poverty have the right and responsibility to move to another place in search of jobs and a better life for their families. That’s what my grandparents did coming from Sicily. That’s what Lori’s grandparents did coming from Ireland and Norway, when there was famine and no work. Governments have a right and responsibility to manage borders and facilitate in a just and humane way the migration of people searching for a better life.
Saving Babies and Bees
by Robert Fontana
Jesus was teaching at a Pro-Life Rally one day and said to them, “If you love only pro-lifers, what good is that; even environmentalist love their own. And if you are kind only to conservatives, what good is that; even liberals are kind to one another. No, I tell you love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who curse you!”
CLM was at the event and decided to interview Jesus to better understand what he was trying to say.
CLM: Jesus, thank you for agreeing to this interview. You made an intriguing comment just now. What did you mean by that?
Jesus: I get a bit tired of the crusading types who can’t see the big picture. Whether it’s people focused on saving babies or those trying to protect bees, they have a tendency to treat anyone who is not with them with contempt!
CLM: Let me play the devil’s advocate here, Jesus. What does saving bees have to do with saving babies? Is there any comparison; babies are tops!
Jesus: Anybody who has paid attention to my life knows how committed I am to every person, the unborn and the born, to the poor, the sick, and the outcast. But human life is part of nature, and nature is, to use a Catholic expression, the original Sacrament that makes all other Sacraments possible. A Sacrament is an outward sign, something that one can see, touch or smell, and that gives grace.
Does not nature do just that? Think of your favorite place outdoors, be it your garden, along a beach, or walking through a forest. Are you not humbled by its beauty, complexity, and mystery? I know I am. I continue to be overwhelmed by the presence of God through the amazing colors found in the lilies of the field that ‘neither sow nor spin, yet Solomon in all his splendor was not arrayed as these.’
All life is intimately connected in my Father’s plan. One cannot fight the horrors of abortion while not also advocating for the protection of all of God’s creation: the wetlands and forests, the mountains and streams, the birds and the bees.
CLM: I see your point. So often pro-life groups in a parish have little to do with “social justice;” and peace groups, well, they have little to do with the pro-lifers.
Jesus: That ugly division is not from God and seems to be guided more by a person’s politics than by the Gospel. I am happy to say that the Catholic Bishops take a holistic view that values all of creation, but few people on the left or the right listen to them.
The late Cardinal Bernadin argued for a seamless-garment approach in which advocating for the unborn was part of the same work as caring for the poor and elderly, and also part of the same work as striving for peace and the elimination of capital punishment.
And now, in this crucial age where life on earth balances on the edge of a knife because of many complex ecological disasters, it is crucial that my followers see how deeply and profoundly all of life is bound together in a “holy communion.” Saving babies from the horrors of abortion is important, but so also is saving bees.
CLM: But Jesus, certainly you would say that saving babies is more important than saving bees?
Jesus: What if the bumble bee population dies out in North America? How will agriculture be sustained? Will farmers be able to continue to feed people, all of us made in God’s image and likeness?
My Father gives different gifts to different people for different purposes. Not all can take in unwed mothers, but some can and must. Not all can grow their own food and advocate for safe and healthy food production, but some can and must. Not all can learn about what is killing off honey bees, but some can and must.
CLM: We have time for one more statement, Jesus. What do you think needs to be done?
Jesus: The pro-lifers must become the friends of environmentalists and the environmentalists the friends of the pro-lifers. Those who work for justice must speak to the contemplatives and the contemplatives must be informed by the social activists. In this way God’s family will be united to one another doing the different works of serving the kingdom of God and preserving the “holy communion” that exists among God’s entire creation.
A Note from Robert
I understand that some of you readers might be a little upset with the preceding “interview.” Obviously I am using Jesus to give my thoughts on a sad division that exists among Catholic activists today. Very often pro-life rallies are absent of Catholics working against the death penalty or the loss of wetlands. And Catholic opponents of nuclear proliferation are not supported by Catholics who oppose abortion.
Why can we Catholics not hold together a consistent life ethic as the Catechism of the Catholic Church does which embraces a sacred communion between the unborn, the poor and elderly, the migrant and the imprisoned, but also the wetlands and rivers, mountains and deserts, oceans and seas, and all the creatures that live therein?
Lori and I are pro-life Catholics (is there any other?) and as pro-life Catholics we have:
- Practiced Natural Family Planning
- Lived among the economically poor
- Served in soup kitchens and housed troubled teens
- Worked in crisis pregnancy centers
- Protested nuclear weapons and the death penalty
- Lobbied congress for universal health care
- Prayed and ministered at abortion clinics
- Worked for strong marriages and families
- Organized service camps for the poor and elderly
- Prayed and fasted for peace
- Organized outreach to victims of sex abuse
- Visited nursing homes and the county jail
- Welcomed elderly neighbors into our family
- Organized Catholic Family Camps
- Read National Geographic Magazine
- Gardened without pesticides
- Recycled and put up a clothes line
- Worked in Africa in AIDS prevention
- Shopped at farmers’ markets
- Celebrated the Eucharist
Saints Francis and Clare of Assisi understood that life-giving communion which exists between humans and all of nature.
The Canticle of the Creatures
by St. Francis of Assisi
All praise is Yours, all glory, honor and blessings.
To you alone, Most High, do they belong;
no mortal lips are worthy to pronounce Your Name.
We praise You, Lord, for all Your creatures,
especially for Brother Sun,
who is the day through whom You give us light.
And he is beautiful and radiant with great splendor,
of You Most High, he bears your likeness.
We praise You, Lord, for Sister Moon and the stars,
in the heavens you have made them bright, precious and fair.
We praise You, Lord, for Brothers Wind and Air,
fair and stormy, all weather’s moods,
by which You cherish all that You have made.
We praise You, Lord, for Sister Water,
so useful, humble, precious and pure.
We praise You, Lord, for Brother Fire,
through whom You light the night.
He is beautiful, playful, robust, and strong.
We praise You, Lord, for Sister Earth,
who sustains us with her fruits,
colored flowers, and herbs.
We praise You, Lord, for those who pardon,
for love of You bear sickness and trial.
Blessed are those who endure in peace,
by You Most High, they will be crowned.
We praise You, Lord, for Sister Death,
from whom no-one living can escape.
Woe to those who die in their sins!
Blessed are those that She finds doing Your Will.
No second death can do them harm.
We praise and bless You, Lord, and give You thanks,
and serve You in all humility.
