Troubadour, April 2011
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Two Letters, a Call to Fast, and the Good Friday Novena
by Robert Fontana
To: The Survivors of Sex Abuse in the Church (and your Families);
We are horrified that you as precious children, youth and vulnerable adults were terrorized and permanently scarred by sick and sinful ministers of our Church who sexually and physically abused you.
We are outraged that leaders from our church, who learned of the abuse or, worse, knew that your abusers were a risk to children, protected them by moving them from one place to another — becoming an accomplice to a crime that should have landed them in jail. And when you finally discovered your voice as adults and told of your abuse to these leaders, you received misinformation, half-truths, accusations and denunciations.
And we are deeply ashamed that we, who call ourselves followers of Jesus, did not protect you, did not believe you when you first cried out for help, and did not assist you when, as adults, you confronted Church leaders and demanded justice.
We confess to God and to you, our abused brother, our abused sister, and to your families that we have sinned, in what we have done and failed to do. And we ask you to please forgive us.
To demonstrate our sincere desire to acknowledge our wrongdoing and correct a terrible injustice, we will undertake a nine day period of prayer and fasting beginning on April 14 and ending on Good Friday. Each day we will pray the Good Friday Novena and ask God to give us the wisdom and courage to do what is right in reaching out to Survivors of sex abuse in the Church, and make the necessary changes in the Church so that this never happens again.
While praying the Good Friday Novena some of us will fast from solid foods for nine days, others will eat a Vegan diet. Some will eat just one meal a day or not eat between meals, and others will fast from noise and refrain from watching television or listen to the radio. Each of these acts of self-denial is a small spiritual effort to train us to carry the cross of this crisis and prepare us for the long journey of justice and restored trust between Survivors and the Catholic community.
We are not leaving our faith community, but we also know that if we do not work for change then we are guilty of being complicit in the injustices that you have suffered. To this end we want to listen to you.
Please tell your story. Voice of the Faithful of Central Washington (VOTF) is recording the history of sex abuse in the Catholic Church (see www.votfcentralwashington.com). VOTF will host a listening session for Survivors of sex abuse in the Church, on May 7 at the Veterans Hall (512 S. Chelan Ave., Wenatchee, WA). Please attend, bring your families, and come prepared to share your story. If you are unable to attend this gathering you may email your story to votfyakimawa@yahoo.com, call 509-731-6012, or write VOTF, P.O. Box 995, Yakima, WA 98907.
We understand that it may take a long time for you and your families to forgive us, and even longer to trust us again. Our commitment to you is to assist you in every way that we can to help you find healing and doing whatever we can to restore trust between us.
To: The Catholic Community;
In ancient times, when the Jewish people acknowledged grave sin and failure in faithfulness to God, leaders and prophets called for a time of public prayer and penance to repent of the wrongdoing, seek forgiveness, and recommit the nation to justice and faithfulness. We, as a Catholic community, are at such a time. The recent settlement by our Jesuit brothers with Survivors of sex abuse, for a staggering $166 million, and the grand jury revelations in Philadelphia that 28 priests with credible allegations of abuse are still in ministry make the point. We have sinned, and grievously so.
- We have sinned by not listening to the children who were abused, not listening to their words and behavior when it changed from playfulness and trust to fear and anxiety, and by failing to protect them.
- We have sinned by placing too much trust in an institution that has been incapable of acting in the best interests of the Survivors and victims, and repeatedly protected itself and the offending ministers.
- We have sinned by not getting involved, by keeping the issues of sex abuse at a distance and refusing to listen to the stories of Survivors and their families, and joining them in their efforts for justice.
- We have sinned by giving undo deference to our clergy and hierarchy and not holding them accountable in the ordinary course of events to do their jobs, act in appropriate ways, and be men of integrity.
Because of our grievous sin before God, the Survivors of sex abuse, and their families, we are declaring a time of prayer and penance during the nine days leading up to Good Friday. We commit ourselves to pray the Good Friday Novena and to fast —some from solid foods, others from meat and fish, and still others as they can — to ask God and the Survivors to forgive us.
We invite all of our Catholic brothers and sisters, clergy, lay, and religious, to join us in the Good Friday Novena beginning on Thursday, April 14 and ending at midnight on Good Friday, April 22. We have written a letter of apology to the Survivors and their families and have informed them of our intentions of doing the Good Friday Novena and fast. You can sign your name to this letter by going to www.votfcentralwashington.com.
We welcome your comments. Please write to us at P.O. Box 995, Yakima, WA 98907, or email votfyakimawa@yahoo.com, or call 509-731-6012. To learn more about sex abuse in the Church of Central Washington go to www.votfcentralwashington.com.
Amazing Grace
by Kristin White
From first glance, if you see our daughter Grace, she looks like your typical toddler girl… Leotard with a tutu over some tights, Hello Kitty rain boots, small baby doll resting in the crook of her arm. If you were at Target yesterday you could hear her screeching that she needed the princess shampoo, and howling when I refused to buy it. Look a little closer and you can see a random Cheerio stuck in her hair, you can smell the orange lip gloss she rubbed all over her arms, see glimpses of the little teeny bruises from the bed she jumped off of or the chair that got in her way. And if you asked her about the bruises, she remembers where she got them and will tell you about all the imaginary “owies” she has, and then ask you for a Band-Aid. She turned two in late November but has the vocabulary of a kindergartner and likes to start half of her sentences with, “Actually…”
One will never question the fact that she has three brothers, because she has learned that the art of potty humor is always funny to boys, and will proudly tell any grocery clerk that, “I tooted. I fart.” She twirls and sings and has a scraped nose from falling on her face at her brother’s Little League practice. She thinks that her godparents are her personal property. She has had serious health problems and never lost her sparkle. She refuses to go to bed until her Dad kisses her. She is dramatic, outgoing, loves people… I’m not really sure where she gets that.
Before Grace, Chris and I knew how to reason with our children. But with Grace, everything is emotional, and sometimes difficult. She hasn’t learned you can’t sing the entire time you are at church, she hasn’t realized that unless you are on the team you cannot run on a basketball court during a game, and bedtime is mandatory even when we can’t find her baby. Chasing a two year old can be tiring, but the circles under my eyes are worth it. She is worth it.
She is beautiful and knows this from her confident crooked run, to the way she watches her reflection in a mirror. She shakes her hair and wiggles her fingers, and laughs at the beauty that is right before her. She knows she is beautiful. She believes she is beautiful. And it breaks my heart that someday she won’t feel that way. That someday she will pick apart her looks in a mirror, stare at her body and say all of the things she doesn’t like.
When we found out we were having a girl I promised myself I would never ever put myself down in front of her. No matter how I feel about my stretch marks or how I look in skinny jeans, I want her to witness a healthy body image. We often are complimented that she is a mini me, and I don’t ever want for her to think I second guess either of us. She is a child of God. So am I. So why am I still falling into the comparing, the inner dialogue in which I put myself down when I’m by myself? I am trying so hard to protect my daughter’s heart, while I’m breaking my own. And I’m working very hard to stop that, to see myself as Christ sees me.
Recently a friend told me she saw her four-year-old daughter examining herself in the mirror in a swimsuit. At first my friend became afraid that that negative self talk had started already. But then she started jumping up and down and wiggling, and laughing with glee. When her mother inquired she said with joy, “I just love all of me, Mommy. I am so beautiful.” My friend said she wanted to freeze that moment, hold on to it forever — and I can see why.
As I type this, Grace is dancing around our front room, her hair staticky all over, her dimples making my heart ache. As she gets older she will see images that will question her beauty, people will be mean and she will not see what I see when she looks in the mirror. So I will grab this article and tell her to read it. I will remind her that on the surface she is just like any other girl, struggling with emotional and body issues. But then I will ask her to look closer, I will remind her of the things I have always loved about her; her sense of humor, her affectionate nature, her stubbornness and passion, her confidence, her devotion, her laughter, sensitivity, her never wanting to miss out on life. These attributes were apparent when she was two and they make her even more beautiful. She is beautiful and amazing. Our child. Christ’s child. He just loves all of us.
The Suffering Mysteries of the Rosary
by Robert Fontana
I like the rosary, but I have found that the traditional mysteries, Joyful, Sorrowful, and Glorious, are sometimes too focused on the conception and death of Jesus and the glory of heaven to be an adequate aid in prayer through some of life’s joys and trials. Pope John Paul II must have had similar thoughts when he instituted the Luminous Mysteries of the Rosary to encourage Christians to include in their Rosary meditations on Jesus proclaiming the Kingdom. (The Luminous Mysteries are: The Baptism of Jesus, the Wedding at Cana, Jesus Proclaims the Kingdom, the Transfiguration, and the Last Supper.)
Praying through the traditional Sorrowful Mysteries has its purpose of helping us to do God’s will in difficult circumstances, and bear the unjust suffering that we may have to endure —whether it be from sickness or a mean boss, or “just suffering” that comes from our own sins and bullheadedness. But they leave out much struggle and suffering that was part of Jesus’ life that led to the cross; struggle and suffering which I have found beneficial to mediate and pray over through what I call “the Suffering Mysteries” of the Rosary. I offer them to you for your own prayer and edification as we approach Holy Week.
1st Suffering Mystery – Jesus is tempted by Satan. The epistle to the Hebrews writes that Jesus was tempted in all ways but did not sin (4:15), and that he was made perfect through suffering (2:10). The Synoptic Gospels, particularly Matthew and Luke, give very dramatic descriptions of Jesus battling with the devil, a battle that continued throughout his ministry even to his final moments on the cross when his detractors, sounding like the devil, say, “Let the Messiah, the King of Israel, come down now from the cross that we may see and believe.” (Mark 15:32)
2nd Suffering Mystery – Jesus is rejected in Nazareth. Jesus’ prayer, “Abba, Father…take this cup away from me, but not what I will but what you will” must have been uttered much earlier in his life and repeated often. According to Mark, very soon in the ministry of Jesus, the religious leaders were plotting to have him killed (3:6); his relatives thought he was crazy (3:21); and the Jerusalem intelligentsia (scribes) thought he was possessed (3:22). This opposition to Jesus merged into the perfect storm when he is finally evicted from the synagogue that had raised him in Nazareth, where his mother and father, relatives and friends worshiped (Luke 5:16-22). In a kinship and tribal society, Jesus became an outcast.
3rd Suffering Mystery – Jesus cleared the Temple. Jesus began a New Israel with the 12 Apostles as the new leaders representing the 12 tribes, the descendents of Jacob who journeyed from slavery to freedom in the Exodus. He repeatedly challenged the inadequacies of Judaism calling Israel to the fulfillment of the law. To this end, he scandalized faithful Jews by making himself the new interpreter of the Law and the prophets, healing on the Sabbath, eating with tax collectors and prostitutes, touching the sick, including women as disciples, and demanding that enemies be loved. The proverbial “straw that broke the camel’s back” was when Jesus took over the Temple, cleared it of buyers and sellers, and established the New Israel with him at the center. “The chief priests and the scribes came to hear of it and were seeking a way to put him to death.” (Mark 11:18)
4th Suffering Mystery – Jesus is betrayed, arrested, and abandoned. Jesus knew that his actions in taking over the temple would not go unpunished. Yet he prepared no defense. He knew his path was that of the suffering servant foretold by Isaiah: “Yet it was our infirmities that he bore, our sufferings that he endured.” (Isaiah 53:4). What happened to Jesus was the culmination of rejection of his life and message that began in Nazareth. He prayed in earnest that this time things would be different: “Abba, Father…take this cup away from me, but not what I will but what you will.” Jesus is betrayed by a dear friend, arrested, and abandoned by the leaders of His New Israel. Jesus the prophet, the Beloved Son of God, has become Jesus the criminal.
5th Suffering Mystery – Jesus is tortured and executed. Jesus’ trial was a sham exercise in justice that often happens when the decision to kill a political and religious dissident has already been made. The Romans cooperated in the killing of Jesus because he was a political threat to their control in Palestine. The Jewish religious leaders killed Jesus because he upended their positions of power and authority. Power, even cloaked in religious language and symbols, rarely makes peace with those who “speak truth to power.” Jesus is brutally tortured, and executed as a common criminal and enemy of the state, and as a religious heretic. But God has a higher purpose to this death: “But he was pierced for our offenses, crushed for our sins, Upon him was the chastisement that makes us whole, by his stripes we were healed. We had all gone astray like sheep, each following his own way; But the LORD laid upon him the guilt of us all.” (Isaiah 53:5)
I find praying through the Suffering Mysteries of the rosary a great help, especially in living as a Christian with so much corruption and evil in our world — and my temptations to be part of that world. I still pray the traditional mysteries but I include the Suffering Mysteries with them. Here’s my rosary pattern for the week:
Monday – Luminous
Tuesday – Suffering
Wednesday –Glorious
Thursday – Joyful
Friday – Sorrowful
Saturday – Luminous
Sunday – Glorious
Good Friday Novena — April 14-22
Have mercy on us, O God, have mercy on us and forgive us for the sin of sexual abuse of children, youth, and vulnerable adults in the Catholic Church, and the secrecy that has allowed this sin to fester and grow into a terrible evil that has crippled our Church and society.
Give us the interior strength and depth of character to face this plague of sexual abuse with truth, honesty, transparency, and dialogue; and lead us into a new springtime of protection for our children and restored trust in our Church. Amen.
Our Father…
- Pray the Good Friday Novena daily from April 14 and to Good Friday, April 22.
- Select a fast, a method of self-denial, something sacrificial, as a public sign of your solidarity with the Survivors and their families. Some participants will go without solid foods (and milkshakes) for the nine days of the Novena. Others will go “Vegan” by giving up all dairy, meat, poultry, pork, and fish products, and still others will simply try to eat less, and not eat between meals.
- Sign the letter to the Survivors of Sex Abuse in the Church (and their Families) by logging on to www.votfcentralwashington.com.
- Come to “Listening to Survivors of Sex Abuse in the Church” on May 7 at the Veterans Hall (512 S. Chelan Ave, Wenatchee, WA) or make contact with the local Survivors group in your area and listen to their stories and get involved with working for change in the Church.
